Trusting God in 2006... and On Through Eternity

What is faith? I always thought I knew what faith was... until I actually had to exercise some! At 18 when I was faced with my whole life before me and thought I was going to die, I had my first taste of what it really meant to believe in God by faith. After I learned that God is still with you "in the valley of the shadow of death", I thought I could never again doubt God. That His will would be miraculously easy for me to trust and accept. Right then, when I felt I had somehow "arrived" in the area of faith, I was sent back to the starting block.

This last year has meant new lessons in faith. I can see how God works in our lives, taking us one step at a time down the path of faith. He doesn't start with the big "horse pill". He starts by giving us those little round chewables. Sometimes they can still be the same medicine, but he equips us for what we have to face by administering small doses in preparation.

2006 was a year of sorrow for me and of new beginnings. From the death of my Grandmother, and countless other life changing personal ups and downs I found my faith being tested in a new and unfamiliar way. My spiritual life hit a low point emotionally and I began to walk through a dark place with God, unable to see the path before me.

That is when you start feeling alone. No one has the answers that you're looking for. You can't always rely on people to understand. It's just you and God. Then you start thinking "There has to be some sort of Christian guide book out there to tell you how to get through this biblically!"

After a discouraging search, you realize there is. The Bible. Of course. You knew that before. As a last resort (and I say this with humor) you crawl to your Bible and open it a crack. Here is where the REAL faith that Paul was talking about begins. Genesis, I Kings, Esther, Job, Psalms, Isaiah, Daniel, Jonah, Malachi, Matthew, John, Romans, Galatians, Philippians, James, 1 Peter, 1 John, Jude, Revelations. The books are flipping past.

Your going "Sure, this is great when I've got time to sit around and analyze theology, but I've got a problem now! What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to hear from God?"

That's when God asks you the question. "Do you really believe my word is all sufficient and can address any real and relevant problem you have?"

"Yes Lord" You answer timidly.

He asks again "Do you really believe I am who I say I am? That I care about you. That I have good plans for you?"

You pause. "I want to believe Lord."

"Then believe" He replies.

And that is when the scripture begins opening up. You read verses like:

"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome." Jeremiah 29:11

"The Lord appeared from of old to me [Israel], saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you."Jeremiah 31:3

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."Isaiah 40:31

"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalm 27:14

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth." Psalm 37:7-9

"In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;" Titus 1:2
"For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee." Psalm 5:4

"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" Numbers 23:19

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land." Psalm 68:5

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:4-6

"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10

"For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

For me personally, the answer to exercising faith has been to acknowledge the fact that I don't understand. To admit I can't see where this is all going. And then to quote scripture verses to myself and tell myself "They are true. This is truth! And God is unchanging! He cannot lie!"

I'm hurting. God understands.
I feel like God has forgotten me. God has not forgotten.
I feel unloved. God loves me.
I feel misunderstood. God knows my heart.
I am confused and perplexed. God gives wisdom.
I'm overwhelmed. God gives me strength.

I may not feel God all the time. I may not see why He is allowing unpleasant or hurtful situations in my life. I may FEEL a lot. I don't get anywhere but depressed with "feeling".

The point is to agree that "Our heart is deceitful and desperately wicked...who can know it?" and to realize that the only truth is in Believing what God has said about Himself and about what He is doing in your life. I think that was the faith that was spoken about in the Bible. It's hard, but as Nike says, I suppose we just have to "do it".

"And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God." Mark 11:22

"And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God." James 2:23

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed." Romans 10:9-11

To all my dear friends and blog readers:
May our God Elohim bless you, strengthen your heart and give you grace as you exercise your faith in 2007!

Barukh atah Adonai Elohenu, Melekh ha-olam.